- I´ve found my passport which I thought was lost when cleaning bookshelves wohoo!
- I realised weird thing: even if I am not allowed to run, the weather IS incredible and I can enjoy it.
- Anne, my best friend and favourite myrmecologist is returning home tonight after two semesters spent over the ocean making ants psychology research. It is weird, but I feel quite good about the fact that she will see all tese extra kilos on me. I somehow know she will be...proud?
Not so good news:
- My concentration is still very poor. I feel so lazy and uneffective. However I am weirdly calm, intact, unreal. (thanks SSRI?).
- Plus struggling with body. In my eyes already oversized. (and objectively biggest me in last three years).
- My perspective for next five weeks: both body and school stress are swelling and swelling...
ants, and simply "Give, Live, and Learn."
I am sure your friend will be extremely proud of you! I know it can be anxiety-inducing to visit with someone who hasn't seen you since a few pounds ago, but remember that she loves you and will be thrilled you're taking better care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, it takes quite a while to regain equilibrium in your mind/body. The only way out is forward, though, and with the demands of school, etc, you need will need your health more than ever. I think we sometimes fool ourselves into thinking we can neglect our bodies while still doing our best intellectually, but your brain really does suffer along with the rest of your body.
Have a good visit with your friend (I think it is AWESOME that she is a myrmecologist!)
So my sister was on Jeopardy, and I'm a pretty smart cookie myself, but I don't have a clue what a myrmecologist is. :(
ReplyDeleteAn ant biologist!
ReplyDeleteCammy: thanks a lot, every reassurance like this is helpful, because I am still not sure with the fooling-myself boarder.
ReplyDeleteThe body fear is sometimes so senseless and twisted- last week I was nearly crying when I should "show my body to" (= meet) one rather random lecturer who didn´t see me for a long time and now I am almost excited. I am looking forward to see something else than her resigned look. I don´t know many pains as bad as watching some friend on his path of destruction. And yes, myrmecology is awesome!
Lisa: I should write something like "ants-olog". There are so many "-ologies" I don´t know about.. and I have no idea what Jeopardy is. It seems to be some brainy or etymology (another one!:) contest (?)