I am testing especially long-term visual memory and how photos (and fake/subtly changed photos) impact our memories, which is very difficult to objectify and quantify. It is not ED or body perception project (my life seems sometimes to be ED project, so that I try to avoid these themes in the school and lab), but I thought these questions could be interesting for recovering people:
- Does your photos impact somehow your recovery?
- Do you remember "body-related" situations visual?
- Do you see yourself different in mirrors and photos?
Our brain is sometimes such a dirty pool. Can I actually think this?
"Our brain is sometimes such a dirty pool." YES. That is one of the more apt descriptions I've heard in a while.
ReplyDeleteAs for photos - I feel like Facebook acts as an archive of my eating disorder. In the very first tagged photo of me, I'm standing with a healthy, fit person - and it's just glaringly obvious that something is wrong.
When I see pictures from that time, it's hard to believe it's me. I can understand now why my mom said I looked like shit in my prom dress (I kind of did). I can understand why people were so worried. But I remember that the girl in the mirror back then didn't look so thin. She didn't have that sharp collarbone and she didn't have those scary, almost-red circles under her eyes. She just didn't look good enough. So yes, mirrors =/ photos.
Finally,there was an incident this past Christmas when I visited home. Dad had finally gotten one of those digital picture frames and had some shots in it from my freshman year - height of my ED. My fiance and I stood there and it was so painful - where's my arm? Look at my hair - etc. I think my dad felt bad, but looking at those pictures now is like fuel for recovery.
Holy moly, long-ass comment. Hope it helps.