in the valley of sinusoid

I've just writen long post about my sister's ultrathinness and eating habits and how I am worried (and :/jealous and furious and how I absolutely hate myself for it). Well I am worried but deep down I know this all is my problem, my slip, my fight. It is me who needs help. She is very thin and very distant, living her life, not our sisterhood- it is killing me. But it is part of ED. I feel like crying, but I need to pick a phone and call to my Prague therapist, because my eating and labs are not very impressive. Every cell in my body is so damned tired of this.