where are we?

One course + rather small oral exam in medical law (I didn't take this course+exam last spring because I was in Berlin) in the middle of June is what parts me from being a medical doctor allowed to work as a medical doctor. I did my last clinical exam yesterday and it went much better than I thought!
It is surreal.
It feels great and scary at the same time.

"Whatever it is you're seeking won't come in the form you're expecting."

— Haruki Murakami

More things are surreal.
My sister (AK) has somehow managed to overcombine her school-senator, multiple students clubs, organizing summer school and some workshop stuff, but among all these things she hasn't had any time to write her diploma thesis properly and 1 month ago she realised she won't make it until this summer. SO instead of graduating in June/July, it will probably happen in late fall/winter. She is mad at herself and she is generally pissed at everyone in her visual or audible field and dad is mad at her and mum isn't mad just because she's worried about M. Sigh.
M. isn't doing very well. Last week after the visit of his classmates I believed it is getting better (although I remembered me in my first treatment after I begun to eat having kind of "honeymoon" phase as I thought I will simply eat and things will get better. And it wasn't so linear...), but this weekend he was really low. I was nervous because of the exam, so that I may have seen everything bit blacker or he may have felt my nervosity- I don't know. But I know he barely spoke to me and he was so resigned that I wanted to shake with his shoulders and head if I wasn't afraid I will cause him shaken baby syndrome, because he's so fragile. He has written me very short email the same day in that he wrote he was sorry. He hasn't gained ANY weight during his stay (he has lost a bit during the first week and since then gained just tiny amount) and last week he+mom started the multiple-family group therapy and his roommate who was quite nice and supportive will leave the clinic soon for 5 weeks, comming back only for some check ups and ambulant therapy. Everywhere are final exams in high schools and parties and graduations and I think these things may be bit emotional and confusing for brother and visits are tough however both sides are trying. I quess silence is better than fake smiles (I used to practice in similar situations years ago).

"Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?"
— Haruki Murakami

Better things: I am now free to read a book that weights less than 4 kilos. I have still a supply from Christmas! I missed fiction books. I will read all the magazines from Deutsche Guggenheim Club I got and stored unread in a box. I will clean my room and pass some on my books and notes for exams on my younger friends. I am also enormously looking forward to continue with my piece of writing and drawing in next weeks. There are lots of less pleasant duties needed to be done, but I think I will get some rest and hopefully I will write some more spirited posts or even pictures in between. Have a nice relaxing weekend!