So I have decided to get back to the structured meal plan (+ thanks for every supportin comment about that topic). I've invested in a german nutritionist who is working in the psychosomatic clinic next to my research building and I think it was good thing to do- I am now one weak on this plan and I haven't have any problem with it. Well the only problem is that the nutritionist insists on so much cooking. I am not bad in cooking, there were times when I was actually too (and unhealthy) good in cooking, measuring every gram, every degree, experimenting, decorating and... not eating. But it is not really my thing. I don't like following recipes and I am afraid of not following them (well it is not only the recipe problem...). I am bored in the kitchen so that I am reading a book or cleaning while cooking and I overcook/burn etc. my meals so often. I don't care. I've spend so much time thinking about food to be able to love (or at least like) cooking. I like to cook for others and I am looking forward to arrange big breakfast session for my family and friends at home in August. I like to bake for some occasions - birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, but I would never bake just for fun. And now I must cook every day (although I am going to mensa/caffeteria and eating warm meal daily). According to my nutritionist the meal plan is not about nutrition, the word meal contains the preparation, habits, traditions, simply the eating culture. She's right, I need to work on this.
I've noticed that this detachedness or inertness (does this word exist? I mean being inert) may be some kind of defence mechanism, some kind of supression of feelings around food. It is not only cooking, I generally don't like speaking about food, buying it (althoug it is getting slightly better) or food magazines or blogs. Have you experienced something like it?
I hope everyone has a nice pre-summer weekend, I am studying today and tomorrow I am heading to Baltic See for one day!
Showing posts with label nutritionist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nutritionist. Show all posts
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
very special nutritionist & mystical thinking
After IP treatment and major weight gain last summer I decided to follow meal plan from my IP team and not to "have" my own nutritionist. Eating has been bit stressful lately, so I stopped seeking justifications like lack of time/money or the fact I am probably too trained in nutrition and I started to seek a nutritionist.
Today I had my first nutritionist appointment ever.
My nutritionist is kind of unique. 1) It is man. I don't know why I expected a woman. 2) He used to be professional cyclist, spinning instructor and now he is also certified cognitive behavioral therapist 3) He used to suffer with anorexia for years. Actually he told me this just so within first 5 minutes of the appointment. And what is wonderful - he's been recovered for more than a decade. I will see him probably only once in a month or so, because I won't be more often in Prague and because this money thing, but I hope it will work.
Second thing I would like to address is mystical thinking in eating disorders.
Just before I went to the nutritionist I've heard about the terorist's attacks in Moscow. Automatically I started to think: such a tragedy happens and you are going to spend an hour discussing what, how and when to eat. You are wasting your time while you should do something useful blah blah blah you should be in this underground because you are anyway killing yourself. But this is not exactly the "magical thinking". Sometimes I have really weird moments or flashes when I almost believe, that me/my eating disorder could be responsible for some completely independent event. Example: If I eat(don't eat- and another particulary ED related conditions) this and this, I won't pass that exam. This is mild version, because sometimes in these thougts figure car accidents or someone else's health. Another time I see a photo of some friend looking like he/she lost weight and I have really bad paranoia about him/her having an eating disorder or just loosing weight while I am gainig. I don't experience it very often and I can deal it, but it is not pelasant and I wonder if anyone has experienced something similar.
Anyway I think the only way how to avoid this magical thinking is to catch on the recovery rope and make some steps forward this spring.
Today I had my first nutritionist appointment ever.
My nutritionist is kind of unique. 1) It is man. I don't know why I expected a woman. 2) He used to be professional cyclist, spinning instructor and now he is also certified cognitive behavioral therapist 3) He used to suffer with anorexia for years. Actually he told me this just so within first 5 minutes of the appointment. And what is wonderful - he's been recovered for more than a decade. I will see him probably only once in a month or so, because I won't be more often in Prague and because this money thing, but I hope it will work.
Second thing I would like to address is mystical thinking in eating disorders.
Just before I went to the nutritionist I've heard about the terorist's attacks in Moscow. Automatically I started to think: such a tragedy happens and you are going to spend an hour discussing what, how and when to eat. You are wasting your time while you should do something useful blah blah blah you should be in this underground because you are anyway killing yourself. But this is not exactly the "magical thinking". Sometimes I have really weird moments or flashes when I almost believe, that me/my eating disorder could be responsible for some completely independent event. Example: If I eat(don't eat- and another particulary ED related conditions) this and this, I won't pass that exam. This is mild version, because sometimes in these thougts figure car accidents or someone else's health. Another time I see a photo of some friend looking like he/she lost weight and I have really bad paranoia about him/her having an eating disorder or just loosing weight while I am gainig. I don't experience it very often and I can deal it, but it is not pelasant and I wonder if anyone has experienced something similar.
Anyway I think the only way how to avoid this magical thinking is to catch on the recovery rope and make some steps forward this spring.
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