"Mr. Anderson! Don't think that I don't know that this assignment scares the hell out of you, you mole!"

No matter how hard my brain was faking normality last week, my immune system just gave up yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night with dizziness having chills and my throat killing me. Or my immune system killing my throat. I am usually not very good with staying home being unactive when I am sick, but today I feel really weak, so that any form of exercising is not thinkable.

We've spent this day basically doing nothing, M. preparing his things for clinic (he insisted on having just a tiny 20 l backpack with him, because "he doesn't need more things for maximal couple of weeks". Just like me. Sigh.) and watching Dead poet society (I love it everytime more and more. Especially Todd's storyline. And Mr. Keating is adorable. If you haven't see it, do it!).

Oh. I am writing this because next week I want to make this blog private. Well- basically it is private, because very little people are reading this and the ones who read are either my friends or are nice. I may be paranoid, because these are just rants in bad English for my 3 best friends are speaking 3 different languages and the only language they have in common is English and some accidental (but really nice!) readers from the blogosphere. Still I am quite uncertain and writing about someone else than me with anorexia makes it somehow weird and you never know who and what for can google something.

So if you would like to read and are not my future professor or employer or M.'s future girlfriend or someone really important in his future healthy happy long life, just comment and I will be happy to send you "invitation". I have some emails of readers I don't know personally, but I don't want to spam without your permission.
Oh how I wish it was already tomorrow evening. Awaiting something and not knowing where someone's going is so much harder than being inside of some hard situation.

Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." Don't be resigned to that. Break out!
//Mr. Keating on Dead Poet Society