Pre-warning: the most boring post EVER. I just wanted to share my (haha) "success".
So tomorrow after work I'm supposed to go for a dinner (pizza:/) with my working group and some visiting researcher. I know it since Friday and I am scared. As I mentioned in my recent post I don't feel like belonging there and to be somehow useful and like having something to say or contribute (partially it is my paranoia, but only partially:/) and it makes the eating part much harder. At Friday my first thought was: great- so you'll restrict and overexercise the whole weekend to reduce the level of anxiety at least tiny bit. Fortunately (or UNfortunately - this knowledge is nothing else than years of experience) I know that if did so, on Monday I'd be an exhausted emotional wreck panicking even more and acting even weirder than usual. So I was brave and ate every single bite of meals and snacks during this weekend (plus now I am going to eat my night snack) and exercise like every weekend and I probably'll just reorganize my meals tomorrow and hope I will survive. It is quite probable that I will actually survive. The question is the degree of anxiety --> awkwardness I will reach...
Well done you! Eating out with people is always hard, even more so if you aren't comfortable with them- but I agree that restricting in advance only ever makes it harder to be rational when the time comes. I really hope tomorrow goes well for you.
ReplyDeleteHi Briony and thanks a lot! I guess it is not I am uncomfortable with them - they're really nice. I am not comfortable with myself. Same old story...
ReplyDeleteI can say that you are very strong where I know I am not. Celebrate your successes yes?
ReplyDeleteIt may be the "same old story" but your awareness allows you to acceptance. That acceptance may very well lead you to finding ways that you CAN be more comfortable with you.
Point is : just celebrate you successes. It is admirable friend!
Be well. :)
I hope this goes well for you! MAJOR congrats on staying strong and not overcompensating over the weekend. Exposure is the best way to get comfortable with these kinds of occasions, so major kudos to you for planning to go!
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